Well the title says it all.. a handshake.. it says so much about a person, im gonna skip all the good stuff this time and tell you exactly where im going with this..
If a man feels compelled to squeeze your hand like a mongoloid neanderthal, he has nothing more to offer you than the strength he just asserted.. and if he squeezes a womans hand like that?
Hes not worth the sperm his father wasted on creating him.
Really, what does it prove to yourself of others when you grip with vice like fury? That your lack of social etiquette has left you alone on so many nights that your right forearm has the strength of 10 average men with personalities and sex lives?
When a man grips my hand like hes trying to crush a soft fruit, all i can think of is the fruit he is acting like. Are you trying to (fail) assert some alpha male dominance? Are you trying to let me know your stronger and more powerful than me and therefore more of a man than me?
Im a woman... im not your competition for alpha male dominance.. although in the jungle the biggest competition is for the best mates.. so maybe my previous comment was a correct assumption and youre just letting me know that im not match for you... and all the hot guys i might be after are all yours for the taking.
And if thats it.. you can have them.. im not going to arm wrestle a man over the man he wants..
Im gonna get a little more personal and tell you the event that provoked this blog.
But first a little side track.. ONCE AGAIN.. you garbage ass minimum wage, no w-2 having ass , get your ass whipped in a real fight ass SECURITY GUARDS need to know your fucking role, you might beat off to UFC videos and get turned on by sweaty dudes in underwear grabbing each other.. but that does NOT make you a tough guy, if you were youd be in a ring paying taxes on your earnings.. not working at walmart during the day and supplementing it with your low powered ego trip of a job title.. there are some really cool, really nice guys who work security and im obviously not talking about you.. but the other 90% of you.. are a fucking joke.. and if youre a security MANAGER.. youre a joke.. telling a joke.. and if youre a security guard ACTING like a manager.. youre a fake ass joke.. telling a joke.. and its.. well.. you win.. you.. really are funny.
So this midget ass 5'7 ish security guard started at this club i work at occasionally, the first time we met he did the typical napoleon complex handshake where he nearly got on his tippy toes to eek out that 5'9 he might just pull off.. pushed his shoulder in.. hip forward and gripped my hand like it was his roomates penis, and then proceeded to squeeze and shake it just the same..
REALLY?!? Is all i can think.. i called him the first name that came to mind , laughed at his pathetic and ignorant attempt to assert himself and went on with my night.
The next night he walks up to me and shoves his phone in my face and demands my phone number.. i asked him what the fuck for and he let me know he was managing on some nights and was supposed to get a roster and the girls numbers. I asked who taught him manners and told him not to treat a lady like that.. and again.. walked off and avoided this joke for the rest of the night..
Which leads to tonight.. his first night as manager.. his night to exercise the limited amount of power he had .. his night to shine as an example to diminutive men everywhere..
I walked up and asked for a drink , since management usually takes care of a couple rounds for me when i work on slow/dead nights. To which he responded that i was trying to be "gangsta" and "run all over him". This was the first time he and i had shared more words than his original ignorant introductions so im not sure how i was ever giving the opportunity to run all over him, but here i was being called names and being accused of things.
At this point i still know my place as an employee and was being as polite and cordial as possible and i told him i would just text the manager (real manager but i didnt say that) and ask him for some comps since he wasnt familiar with the routine, had he have said no i would have just bought my own, but like i said a few drinks comped on nights like this for me is not uncommon.
HE got PISSED, said i needed to respect him and not try going around him , said he wasnt going to let me run shit.
When i came back to get a drink , he was standing there and asked me, "What kind of relationship do we have?" I said , None! This is a job.. we dont have a relationship! At which point he took his knee and slammed it into my freshly tattooed knee.. then proceeded to tell me how tattoos dont hurt and to "stop whining" and his tattoo artist said "knee tattoos dont hurt"
Something neither him or his tattoo artist have by the way.
Then tells me when i get my other knee done hes gonna hit me in that one too.. I told him if he did i wouldnt be responsible for my actions because i was going to just hit him in the face next time he tried to beat on me, ESPECIALLY right after getting tattooed
So what does this man amongst men do then? Tells me i cant knock him out and begins telling me if he hits my knee i better not hit him or HE wont be responsible for what HE does..
I avoided him the rest of the night..
When i asked him if i could leave i said as nicely as i could to this piece of trash "Can i go home now, its kinda dead?" And the icing on the cake to the night was his "Yea.. fucking YEA!" response..
The sad part about all this... is this whole story could be wrapped up in a handshake.. i feel like he properly communicated how much of a douche bag he was and his inability to do well in a social environment , and treat women with respect.. the first time he shook my hand.
I do agree that a handshake is a large part of a first impression. In your situation, with the Kull the Conqueror handshake, I can relate it to my previous post about power. You were exactly right that this tool wanted to assert some feeble form of psychological dominance on you by the hand shake as well as the "im your manager" line which by the way never works and is almost as bad as the "im rich" line. My only advice is to ignore these sheep. A large percentage of the population I have deemed to be sheep. Aimlessly baa-ing through their life listening to what their shepherd (other people, T.V., Popular culture, all of the brain washing media) tell them is cool and what people really want. Just take solace in the fact that you are smarter then they are and free from the social prison they are locked in....and he probably had a small penis which made him self conscious and prompted his enormous failed attempt to hit on you
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