Well the title says it all.. a handshake.. it says so much about a person, im gonna skip all the good stuff this time and tell you exactly where im going with this..
If a man feels compelled to squeeze your hand like a mongoloid neanderthal, he has nothing more to offer you than the strength he just asserted.. and if he squeezes a womans hand like that?
Hes not worth the sperm his father wasted on creating him.
Really, what does it prove to yourself of others when you grip with vice like fury? That your lack of social etiquette has left you alone on so many nights that your right forearm has the strength of 10 average men with personalities and sex lives?
When a man grips my hand like hes trying to crush a soft fruit, all i can think of is the fruit he is acting like. Are you trying to (fail) assert some alpha male dominance? Are you trying to let me know your stronger and more powerful than me and therefore more of a man than me?
Im a woman... im not your competition for alpha male dominance.. although in the jungle the biggest competition is for the best mates.. so maybe my previous comment was a correct assumption and youre just letting me know that im not match for you... and all the hot guys i might be after are all yours for the taking.
And if thats it.. you can have them.. im not going to arm wrestle a man over the man he wants..
Im gonna get a little more personal and tell you the event that provoked this blog.
But first a little side track.. ONCE AGAIN.. you garbage ass minimum wage, no w-2 having ass , get your ass whipped in a real fight ass SECURITY GUARDS need to know your fucking role, you might beat off to UFC videos and get turned on by sweaty dudes in underwear grabbing each other.. but that does NOT make you a tough guy, if you were youd be in a ring paying taxes on your earnings.. not working at walmart during the day and supplementing it with your low powered ego trip of a job title.. there are some really cool, really nice guys who work security and im obviously not talking about you.. but the other 90% of you.. are a fucking joke.. and if youre a security MANAGER.. youre a joke.. telling a joke.. and if youre a security guard ACTING like a manager.. youre a fake ass joke.. telling a joke.. and its.. well.. you win.. you.. really are funny.
So this midget ass 5'7 ish security guard started at this club i work at occasionally, the first time we met he did the typical napoleon complex handshake where he nearly got on his tippy toes to eek out that 5'9 he might just pull off.. pushed his shoulder in.. hip forward and gripped my hand like it was his roomates penis, and then proceeded to squeeze and shake it just the same..
REALLY?!? Is all i can think.. i called him the first name that came to mind , laughed at his pathetic and ignorant attempt to assert himself and went on with my night.
The next night he walks up to me and shoves his phone in my face and demands my phone number.. i asked him what the fuck for and he let me know he was managing on some nights and was supposed to get a roster and the girls numbers. I asked who taught him manners and told him not to treat a lady like that.. and again.. walked off and avoided this joke for the rest of the night..
Which leads to tonight.. his first night as manager.. his night to exercise the limited amount of power he had .. his night to shine as an example to diminutive men everywhere..
I walked up and asked for a drink , since management usually takes care of a couple rounds for me when i work on slow/dead nights. To which he responded that i was trying to be "gangsta" and "run all over him". This was the first time he and i had shared more words than his original ignorant introductions so im not sure how i was ever giving the opportunity to run all over him, but here i was being called names and being accused of things.
At this point i still know my place as an employee and was being as polite and cordial as possible and i told him i would just text the manager (real manager but i didnt say that) and ask him for some comps since he wasnt familiar with the routine, had he have said no i would have just bought my own, but like i said a few drinks comped on nights like this for me is not uncommon.
HE got PISSED, said i needed to respect him and not try going around him , said he wasnt going to let me run shit.
When i came back to get a drink , he was standing there and asked me, "What kind of relationship do we have?" I said , None! This is a job.. we dont have a relationship! At which point he took his knee and slammed it into my freshly tattooed knee.. then proceeded to tell me how tattoos dont hurt and to "stop whining" and his tattoo artist said "knee tattoos dont hurt"
Something neither him or his tattoo artist have by the way.
Then tells me when i get my other knee done hes gonna hit me in that one too.. I told him if he did i wouldnt be responsible for my actions because i was going to just hit him in the face next time he tried to beat on me, ESPECIALLY right after getting tattooed
So what does this man amongst men do then? Tells me i cant knock him out and begins telling me if he hits my knee i better not hit him or HE wont be responsible for what HE does..
I avoided him the rest of the night..
When i asked him if i could leave i said as nicely as i could to this piece of trash "Can i go home now, its kinda dead?" And the icing on the cake to the night was his "Yea.. fucking YEA!" response..
The sad part about all this... is this whole story could be wrapped up in a handshake.. i feel like he properly communicated how much of a douche bag he was and his inability to do well in a social environment , and treat women with respect.. the first time he shook my hand.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
How to ruin a great night at a nice Venue, just add shit personal, and douche repeatedly.
Im gonna give the good first.. because i will be the last to say last night wasnt one of the most fun nights i have had in tampa. PERIOD.
We went to The Venue , which is deceptively large inside, despite its myriad of odd walls and passageways dividing the building into a sort of common room surrounded by pod like areas of over looks, and vip like sections. The club was beautiful, the light show was very nice for a resident lighting system, and the music system was great, not too loud in some areas and barely hear able in others like some venues.. im not going to say the building itself has opera like acoustics.. but for what it is.. the sound was great, AND they have a nice, working, a/c system, which for us is always a really nice plus.
The event last night was Drummer vs Dj .. a battle of analog vs digital via Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' drummer Jon Wilkes beating a live cadence to Dj Capones mystery selection of mixes and cuts. Its definitely a sight to see, and if you like any of the Travis Barker rock remixes on youtube, then seeing it live is a 1000% times better... as if the concept alone isnt cool enough to hold your attention.. having a well known rockstar drummer battling a Dj who is just this side of a DMC PHENOM sold the concept into a solid solid show. Visually a 10, and it left you wanting a cd of the event.
The promoter dropped the ball on the original show which as supposed to be an afterparty for Warped Tour , which was hideously un promoted , but the group offered to stay and extra night to make it right and, the club graciously picked up the ball where the promoter dropped it and made things right with the DJ/Drummer combo. Which gives me alot of respect for whoever pulled the trigger on getting them back last night. Thank you Venue for an awesome experience.
Now.. the bad.. and as GOOD as the GOOD was.. the bad was as BAD.
It started at valet, last time we came to the Venue a pair of sunglasses was stolen from our unlocked car, a quick google search will point out that this isnt the first time this has happened, and most likely not the last, so we made sure we put all our valuables in the trunk before showing up,in case valet left it casually unlocked a second time. Those who know ANYTHING about me have seen my car and know that its a site to behold and usually parked at the front door of anywhere we go, its a fair trade, its and attention getter for them.. and i get quality parking. Well here is our first $7.00 an hour superstar we ran into, we pulled up to valet and the guy tells us its $5, not a problem but we retort that last time our car was left unlocked and we would like it parked up front, we say , ill give you $10 this time, but you need to put it where you can see it, hand him about $13 since there was a bunch of ones on us, he agrees.. points to an empty spot behind him and says ill park it in the second row, and he takes off in the car.
Cut to when we pick it up.. its 15 cars down from the front of the club and on the 5th? row i believe.. HARDLY parked up front. But at least this time it was locked and in good condition and nothing was missing.. so .. i guess we will call this one a draw. But i digress because we dont know this yet.
The next issue we see quickly, is that we were told by the person we called , and the website, that the club has a "casual chic" dress code.. no hats, tees, tanks, tennis shoes, shorts, or holey pants...
Not a problem.. but 2 of the people with us are on tour and living out of their wardrobe so sneakers were their only option..although we figured in new True Religions and Burberry tops we could pass for compliant. Once we showed up and made our way to the door, the flash of chrome and plastic baubles affixed to the trendiest (in the 90s) tshirts miami thrift stores has to offer , assaulted our senses. Here we are being told there is a dress code, but Johnny Nobody is here in his Fashion by ROSS affliction shirt and some dirty, uhh.. i mean "classic" nikes.
Hardly the avante garde we were led to believe.. There is nothing wrong with a tshirt and sneakers club, just dont pretend like you are something else and let the people who follow rules show up over dressed , while the people in the spandex unitards and balet flats or the black guy in ankle shorts who has been on the dance floor in a tank top all night do whatever the hell they wanna do.
So then this is the part that really seems to be a Tampa issue in general, and im going to cut off for a second to tell you this, SECURITY, its illegal for you to do ANYTHING out of your job title, when you act in a form of overt aggression or you do something that proceeds in a damaging way. Youre not doing your job, youre outside of your realm of responsibilities and youre just another asshole in the club. When you grab somebody from behind in a form of aggression, thats not being a security guard, thats being an asshole, and i know at LEAST one "employee" last night , who if it were not for respect for the club itself and its amazing managerial staff, was about to get fucked up in that dark ass room you were in.
Putting on a black shirt and collecting a menial paycheck does not make you a superhero, and you might go home and beat off to Roadhouse, but when you grab the wrong guy, the wrong way and he ruins any chance you have of a career that involves walking long distances, standing for extended periods of time , or speaking without a lisp... youll know.. i promise.
I saw personally one security guard tell someone they could use a restroom , and upon touching the door was told by another security guard right next to him that he needed to "get the fuck out of here" While shining a flashlight in his eyes like he was some drug interdiction officer on COPS, even the room we were in , was flushed out by a team of security personnel, shining flashlights and moving in a manner as to flush us out like a pack of roaches. There are 2 or 3 more issues i seen with this facet of the staff but to point them all out one by one would only infuriate me and make me want to go and get names.
So after security flushes us out of our private section at 2:30am , its our first time here.. and the lights were still off, so if this is normal, then fine, but we were given no warning aside from the , too fat to be a trainer, too soft to be a fighter, too short to play sports, too ignorant to get a real job mirepoix of black shirted morons thinking they were S.W.A.T. shining led torches in our faces.
I wanna be clear here.. NO ONE said anything to us, one minute we were partying, the next minute we had flashlights in our eyes and were being told "MOVE". Same as when Dj Capone was standing on the booth trying to give a girl a shot, and a security guard yelled "hey" and when he didnt turn around SNATCHED him by his shirt down off of it. Granted, maybe he shouldnt have been standing there, but shouldnt job one to be to tap him first? Not snatch him a down? Youre NOT a tough guy.. i promise.. but you ALMOST met one last night.. YOU should be thankful for felony probation because it stopped a very sober very capable person from teaching you a lifetime of manners.
So now the lights are on.. i want to ask if i can have one more drink.. its 2:44 at this time, i ask the bartender.. and this.. is as close as i can get to an accurate word for word quote
Me "What time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time... is... last call?"
Him "No"
Me "Ok well so i know.. what time is last call"
Him (while counting his tips) "I said NO"
Me "So... i cant have a drink fine.. what time is last call"
Him "2:45"
Me "What time is is now?"
Him"2:44 but i just closed me drawer"
So yea.. the show AWESOME, the managment? The venue itself? Music , sounds lights?!?! ALL AMAZING . But i will never be back, because nothing ruins a perfect spot like a shitty staff.. and The Venue.. seems to have a nice solid collection.
We went to The Venue , which is deceptively large inside, despite its myriad of odd walls and passageways dividing the building into a sort of common room surrounded by pod like areas of over looks, and vip like sections. The club was beautiful, the light show was very nice for a resident lighting system, and the music system was great, not too loud in some areas and barely hear able in others like some venues.. im not going to say the building itself has opera like acoustics.. but for what it is.. the sound was great, AND they have a nice, working, a/c system, which for us is always a really nice plus.
The event last night was Drummer vs Dj .. a battle of analog vs digital via Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' drummer Jon Wilkes beating a live cadence to Dj Capones mystery selection of mixes and cuts. Its definitely a sight to see, and if you like any of the Travis Barker rock remixes on youtube, then seeing it live is a 1000% times better... as if the concept alone isnt cool enough to hold your attention.. having a well known rockstar drummer battling a Dj who is just this side of a DMC PHENOM sold the concept into a solid solid show. Visually a 10, and it left you wanting a cd of the event.
The promoter dropped the ball on the original show which as supposed to be an afterparty for Warped Tour , which was hideously un promoted , but the group offered to stay and extra night to make it right and, the club graciously picked up the ball where the promoter dropped it and made things right with the DJ/Drummer combo. Which gives me alot of respect for whoever pulled the trigger on getting them back last night. Thank you Venue for an awesome experience.
Now.. the bad.. and as GOOD as the GOOD was.. the bad was as BAD.
It started at valet, last time we came to the Venue a pair of sunglasses was stolen from our unlocked car, a quick google search will point out that this isnt the first time this has happened, and most likely not the last, so we made sure we put all our valuables in the trunk before showing up,in case valet left it casually unlocked a second time. Those who know ANYTHING about me have seen my car and know that its a site to behold and usually parked at the front door of anywhere we go, its a fair trade, its and attention getter for them.. and i get quality parking. Well here is our first $7.00 an hour superstar we ran into, we pulled up to valet and the guy tells us its $5, not a problem but we retort that last time our car was left unlocked and we would like it parked up front, we say , ill give you $10 this time, but you need to put it where you can see it, hand him about $13 since there was a bunch of ones on us, he agrees.. points to an empty spot behind him and says ill park it in the second row, and he takes off in the car.
Cut to when we pick it up.. its 15 cars down from the front of the club and on the 5th? row i believe.. HARDLY parked up front. But at least this time it was locked and in good condition and nothing was missing.. so .. i guess we will call this one a draw. But i digress because we dont know this yet.
The next issue we see quickly, is that we were told by the person we called , and the website, that the club has a "casual chic" dress code.. no hats, tees, tanks, tennis shoes, shorts, or holey pants...
Not a problem.. but 2 of the people with us are on tour and living out of their wardrobe so sneakers were their only option..although we figured in new True Religions and Burberry tops we could pass for compliant. Once we showed up and made our way to the door, the flash of chrome and plastic baubles affixed to the trendiest (in the 90s) tshirts miami thrift stores has to offer , assaulted our senses. Here we are being told there is a dress code, but Johnny Nobody is here in his Fashion by ROSS affliction shirt and some dirty, uhh.. i mean "classic" nikes.
Hardly the avante garde we were led to believe.. There is nothing wrong with a tshirt and sneakers club, just dont pretend like you are something else and let the people who follow rules show up over dressed , while the people in the spandex unitards and balet flats or the black guy in ankle shorts who has been on the dance floor in a tank top all night do whatever the hell they wanna do.
So then this is the part that really seems to be a Tampa issue in general, and im going to cut off for a second to tell you this, SECURITY, its illegal for you to do ANYTHING out of your job title, when you act in a form of overt aggression or you do something that proceeds in a damaging way. Youre not doing your job, youre outside of your realm of responsibilities and youre just another asshole in the club. When you grab somebody from behind in a form of aggression, thats not being a security guard, thats being an asshole, and i know at LEAST one "employee" last night , who if it were not for respect for the club itself and its amazing managerial staff, was about to get fucked up in that dark ass room you were in.
Putting on a black shirt and collecting a menial paycheck does not make you a superhero, and you might go home and beat off to Roadhouse, but when you grab the wrong guy, the wrong way and he ruins any chance you have of a career that involves walking long distances, standing for extended periods of time , or speaking without a lisp... youll know.. i promise.
I saw personally one security guard tell someone they could use a restroom , and upon touching the door was told by another security guard right next to him that he needed to "get the fuck out of here" While shining a flashlight in his eyes like he was some drug interdiction officer on COPS, even the room we were in , was flushed out by a team of security personnel, shining flashlights and moving in a manner as to flush us out like a pack of roaches. There are 2 or 3 more issues i seen with this facet of the staff but to point them all out one by one would only infuriate me and make me want to go and get names.
So after security flushes us out of our private section at 2:30am , its our first time here.. and the lights were still off, so if this is normal, then fine, but we were given no warning aside from the , too fat to be a trainer, too soft to be a fighter, too short to play sports, too ignorant to get a real job mirepoix of black shirted morons thinking they were S.W.A.T. shining led torches in our faces.
I wanna be clear here.. NO ONE said anything to us, one minute we were partying, the next minute we had flashlights in our eyes and were being told "MOVE". Same as when Dj Capone was standing on the booth trying to give a girl a shot, and a security guard yelled "hey" and when he didnt turn around SNATCHED him by his shirt down off of it. Granted, maybe he shouldnt have been standing there, but shouldnt job one to be to tap him first? Not snatch him a down? Youre NOT a tough guy.. i promise.. but you ALMOST met one last night.. YOU should be thankful for felony probation because it stopped a very sober very capable person from teaching you a lifetime of manners.
So now the lights are on.. i want to ask if i can have one more drink.. its 2:44 at this time, i ask the bartender.. and this.. is as close as i can get to an accurate word for word quote
Me "What time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time... is... last call?"
Him "No"
Me "Ok well so i know.. what time is last call"
Him (while counting his tips) "I said NO"
Me "So... i cant have a drink fine.. what time is last call"
Him "2:45"
Me "What time is is now?"
Him"2:44 but i just closed me drawer"
So yea.. the show AWESOME, the managment? The venue itself? Music , sounds lights?!?! ALL AMAZING . But i will never be back, because nothing ruins a perfect spot like a shitty staff.. and The Venue.. seems to have a nice solid collection.
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