I want to preface this by saying that i am obviously drawing from personal experience , but this is a culmination of things i have seen or have been a part of , as a customer and as an employee. This is in no way an attack on , or reference to, a single business.
While there are things in this industry i dont know about, or am not 100% privy too, the people who are knee deep in those parts of the venture are missing out , or ignoring alot of things that those of us on the bottom floor (who are paying attention) get to witness. So this blog is going to be sort of an opinionated "How-to" guide, on avoiding those pitfalls Please overlook the arrogance, i have never owned a strip club and i am not assuming i can do your job better than you, this is just my diorama of things over looked.
1: The rules of the Club
Every club has a different set of rules, established by the club to avoid legal issues, but as soon as there are no cops looking, these rules are tossed out the window. Its like clubs are ignorant to the idea that these rules also can MAKE the club money and KEEP it there.
How?
Its a fairly easy concept... take TWENTY hot girls.. and a strict set of rules in a gorgeous club, with good music and liquor. If its in the right area, these girls will make money. The Club will make money.. it will be packed, and if the guys wanna get a handjob , it will be AFTER they get excited in the club , then go home to get one from their wife, or the dirty strip club up the street.
Now...Insert 2 ugly girls, lets not pretend like we dont know who these girls are, the ones who couldnt have gotten a job at hooters, and sure as hell shouldnt be in here naked.
Now.. we have 20 hot girls, who are obeying the rules and making money, and 2 less attractive girls who when they obey the rules, make LESS money.
So, to make the same amount of money the hotter girls are making, the 2 ugly girls break rules, they are touching and grinding and blowing or going home with guys in an effort to compete with a skill set that the more attractive girls dont want to and shouldnt have to exercise.
So some of the attractive girls quit, because the more attractive and classier girls arent going to break the rules and lower their own moral compass to compete with girls that shouldnt be there in the first place.
So now we have 16 hot girls and 4 girls who shouldnt be here... and some of the attractive girls start breaking the rules too , in an effort to keep their job and keep the money coming.
SO what do the less attractive girls do? They do same thing again,and lower their standards to compete with the lookers.
Wash , rinse , and repeat, enough and hire a couple girls just because a manager sees a chance to get a blow job and suddenly you have a club full of average, and below average girls in bathing suits.. who are doing everything shy of getting pregnant to make half the money they were making WHEN EVERYONE HAD TO FOLLOW THE RULES.
Basically.. .the premise is REEEEEEALLLY simple.. why pay a hot girl.. to look at her.. when you can pay and ugly girl to blow you while you look at the hot girl for free?
And in that situation.. if you were the hot girl.. why would you work there?
Then as a customer.. why would you go anywhere where there were no hot girls?
See what happened there?!?! WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!?
2. Management.... fucking management....
Under what premise did this word even find its way into some of these peoples portfolios? How is it that a strip club seems like the only place on the planet that you can be a shitty , always late for work, womanizing pervert one night, and everyones boss the next?
I also work at a consulting company that helps open and close businesses, helping people trim the fat and minimize loss in their day to day functions and the one thing i see more than anything else, is how management performance can make or break a business. That said, to this day i have not seen a strip club with a management structure that i thought would work past the end of the month, and most of the time i was right.
If i owned a strip club , the hierarchy would be as follows :
_________
A... SINGLE.. SOLITARY.. General Manager. Someone who reported directly to me, and who everyone else reported to. No micro managing, no skipping steps. My GM would be GOD and everyone from the owners, investors, and employees would answer directly to him or her as long as the doors were unlocked.
________
Security manager. There would be ONE, he would report to the GM and his team would report to HIM, he would be responsible for all security matters.
________
House mom... A FUCKING WOMAN.. no... i mean NOOOOOOOOOOO dancer on this PLANET is totally comfortable with these male house moms.. what the fuck are you thinking? And as far as a house moms job? Shes an employee, not a manager.. Her responsibilities should be placed accordingly.
_______
Bar Manager..and a head waitress... this should be pretty obvious.. and most clubs get this right.
_______
DJ... is a dj.. .NOT a manager.. NOT in control of my girls.. and these clubs who pay their djs some retarded insane amount of money per night to play whatever the hell they want to play.. and then harass the girls to give them an insane percentage of their tips, while ignoring their wants and needs...
Is crazy to me, if a dj is just going to come in and just get drunk and drugged up and ignore the girls.. then the question isnt just why are YOU paying them... but why are you expecting your girls to?
______
There are other needs, on a club by club basis im sure but, here is the one i think most clubs are in desperate need of..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clubs need to have a single floor manager on a per night basis, she should be one of your dancers, she should be on salary because her job as a manager will supersede her duties as a dancer. She should be dressed similar to the dancers but but better. She should be one of the classiest and most attractive girls you have, she should be willing to be there early , and leave late, There should be ONE main person who occupies this job title, obviously she cant work every night, but their should be a single person who identifies with the job title. She should always be sober enough to do her job, always the best total package of uniform , makeup , hair and looks. She will be the one girls go to first with any problems, her job will be to make sure all of the girls are following the rules and making money.
Basically, there needs to be a girl, who is also a dancer, who you can trust, on your floor. As an acting manager.
To be continued...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Arrogance
This is going to be a very specific blog, but im sure this specific incident is something that is mirrored over and over again throughout all of our lives, so im going to assume this is an issue we have all dealt with at some point. Whether it be a pin head , son of the owner, boss, or just the random friend of a friend jackass that thinks he knows best, and that his opinion on life is all that matters.
This blog is to everyone who has ever had some ignorant, middle management asshole tell you how to do your job. Even if you outranked them by so much that it was hard to comprehend the audacity it took to stand their with their hands on their hips in the first place.
Just because you started a myspace, facebook or blogger page, doesnt make you the CEO of SHIT. Youre not corporate, youre not a boss, youre just a person with a social networking page. Owning a camera, doesnt make you a company, it doesnt provide any magical rights and it doesnt mean you are now a trademarked , copy written producer. On the fern flop, having some shitty pictures, no matter how amazing "ur ppl thnk u look ryt nw".. doesnt make you a model.. and owning a percent of a company equivalent to the square footage of their bathroom urinal.. doesnt make you GOD.
Or how about the piece of shit who will only do something if its THEIR idea, you know who im talking about, the person who you KNOW loves the color pink, and would pick pink a billion times, but the ONE time someone says pink first, is the first douche bag to try to sell you on the color purple.
The same kind of self important assholes who drop trash in a parking lot 25 feet from a can, or open a door into yours, and their door is the first, and ONLY door they check.
I think when girls say POWER is sexy , some guys get it WAY wrong, and maybe.. some girls get it wrong too and chase this fake ass , borrowed, version of power around enough that people are convinced it is real. Power isnt leaving your drinks in the cupholders at the theater because "fuck him let the usher get it" its being secure enough to not have to look for power in such a bullshit and menial way.
These things all seem like common sense.. but we live in an era where sense.. is just not common.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Why are there so many thieves?!
Ok so we all hate people who steal , but there is a lesser end to most evils.. there is the dangerous driver who barrels through the streets drunk, and then there is the person doing 80 in a 65. Sure by definition they are both reckless drivers but even Dante agrees there is a special hell for the liquor fueled nascar, that the casual speeder will never experience.
Ill even go as far as to exclude the thieves who rob you to your face, lets pretend for the sake of this blog that having the balls to hold a gun , knife , bat, etc.. and TELLING me im being robbed, excludes you from this rant.
This isnt about those kinda thieves.
This is about the person who bumps your car in a parking spot and then knowingly drives away, about the person who makes a commitment , then makes everyone go out of their way and bend schedules to fit them, then makes people wait.. to never show.. this is about the waitress at Hooters who casually tells the other girls regular customers, that his favorite waitress has a boyfriend/husband or kid, whether its true or not. Just to pull him away from her.. even if she knows he will never sit with her, as long as if shes not making it, no one is.
We focus too hard on the criminal acts that take intent in this world, we worry more about the weed smoker than the person who cant hold doors and more about the person who robbed the bank than the person who just watched you drop $20 on the ground and instead of telling you, watched you walk away so they could sneak it into their pocket.
The fact is criminal intent is rarely as vulgar as criminal mentality, criminal intent takes motive, and alot of times motive can be rationalized in one form or another, guy killed the dude who shoved his wife? I can see that.. people snap.. guy cant hold a door half a second longer to let the 70 year old lady through it? There is no rationale to that.
Although this is all theft.. in one form or another let me tighten this up before i get too off topic.
And im not going to try to pretty this up.. im just going to give you some examples of common theft i think is avoidable and ignorant.
1: The person on the way to the checkout counter at walmart, with $300 worth of shit in an over flowing buggy, trying to race you there so you have to stand behind them holding a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk and a $10 bill for 25 minutes while they work their way through 2 weeks worth of groceries.
Really? you had to steal a portion of my day from me, for what? Had you have not ran for the first time in your life, to beat me to the counter ida been gone before you got there.
2: Red light racers, the douche bag who blocks intersections and wont let anyone get out of parking lots so he can speed to a redlight.. and then STOP. This guy and the person who wont let you over when you have your blinker on and are doing everything but get out and stop traffic by hand to get in.. should both die in a flaming pile of each others debris.
3: The fore mentioned girls who talk about other girls, in waitress or entertaining jobs, who will walk up to a dude who they KNOW is not into them, KNOW that the customer will NEVER give them money and still "accidentally" drop in casually that his favorite employee is in some way unavailable.
Btw yall arent just theives you are dumb as fuck because not only did you just steal from the employee, the door person, the venue, the bartender , and whoever else was involved.. but you hurt YOUR money too because if HE wont come back .. it means his friends arent either and THEY might have been into you.
4: Bums.. yea.. i said it.. homeless people.. who steal signs.. how come all the homeless people i see are asking for money while holding one of those plastic signs they stole from someone and wrote on the back of... why.. would i give money.. to a thief?!??!
5: Employees not doing their job, youre stealing from the company, who now has to hire more worthless fucks like you to get the job done, who then has to make the price reflect your lazy ass.. which in turn.. steals from me. Right.. you .. mr cart pusher at Sweet Bay.. youre a criminal.. you have stolen from every customer who has ever been there to purchase groceries.
Im sure you have 100 examples of your own, so im not gonna drag this one out.. all im trying to say is that the person who made the news for hunting down and beating the shit out of the guy who left his daughter on the side of the road for not putting out on prom night.. will NEVER effect your life.. Casey Anthony will never baby sit your child.. but those 85 worthless ass city employees who they hired to do a 32 person job.. .has had their hand in your pocket quietly stealing from you every day for the last 30 years.. the parking attendant who doesnt attend shit but the cash box, while you are responsible to repair the damage that happened right in front of him, the lazy waitress who you had to beg for your 3rd and final sweet tea when you could have finished 5 just because she had better shit to do than her job... the 500 person staff at the local McDonalds driving the price of a 2 person lunch at micky d's to Twenty Bucks..
Those people DO effect you.. daily.. those people are criminals.. this complacency.. this society of not slapping someones hand until its finally too late is disgusting.
Stop worrying about the ONE person who got robbed at ybor last night by the guy who was desperate enough to man the fuck up and take it.. lets worry about the 2 managers 2 cashiers and 3 techs at Tire Kingdom handling 6 cars a day.. and the fact that everyone who goes there gets robbed by the rising cost of laziness.
We are focusing on celebrity theft but no one cares that cable is $300 a month ?!?! Who the fuck cares that an escalade got stolen in Hyde park last night.. EVERYONE WHO PAYS FOR INSURANCE in AMERICA got robbed last night!!!!
This is just gonna turn into a rant so im gonna stop.. but fuck people.. maybe if we stop letting the cart jockey at Walmart steal from us EVERY DAY then they WONT think its ok to rob us in person on occasion.
Ill even go as far as to exclude the thieves who rob you to your face, lets pretend for the sake of this blog that having the balls to hold a gun , knife , bat, etc.. and TELLING me im being robbed, excludes you from this rant.
This isnt about those kinda thieves.
This is about the person who bumps your car in a parking spot and then knowingly drives away, about the person who makes a commitment , then makes everyone go out of their way and bend schedules to fit them, then makes people wait.. to never show.. this is about the waitress at Hooters who casually tells the other girls regular customers, that his favorite waitress has a boyfriend/husband or kid, whether its true or not. Just to pull him away from her.. even if she knows he will never sit with her, as long as if shes not making it, no one is.
We focus too hard on the criminal acts that take intent in this world, we worry more about the weed smoker than the person who cant hold doors and more about the person who robbed the bank than the person who just watched you drop $20 on the ground and instead of telling you, watched you walk away so they could sneak it into their pocket.
The fact is criminal intent is rarely as vulgar as criminal mentality, criminal intent takes motive, and alot of times motive can be rationalized in one form or another, guy killed the dude who shoved his wife? I can see that.. people snap.. guy cant hold a door half a second longer to let the 70 year old lady through it? There is no rationale to that.
Although this is all theft.. in one form or another let me tighten this up before i get too off topic.
And im not going to try to pretty this up.. im just going to give you some examples of common theft i think is avoidable and ignorant.
1: The person on the way to the checkout counter at walmart, with $300 worth of shit in an over flowing buggy, trying to race you there so you have to stand behind them holding a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk and a $10 bill for 25 minutes while they work their way through 2 weeks worth of groceries.
Really? you had to steal a portion of my day from me, for what? Had you have not ran for the first time in your life, to beat me to the counter ida been gone before you got there.
2: Red light racers, the douche bag who blocks intersections and wont let anyone get out of parking lots so he can speed to a redlight.. and then STOP. This guy and the person who wont let you over when you have your blinker on and are doing everything but get out and stop traffic by hand to get in.. should both die in a flaming pile of each others debris.
3: The fore mentioned girls who talk about other girls, in waitress or entertaining jobs, who will walk up to a dude who they KNOW is not into them, KNOW that the customer will NEVER give them money and still "accidentally" drop in casually that his favorite employee is in some way unavailable.
Btw yall arent just theives you are dumb as fuck because not only did you just steal from the employee, the door person, the venue, the bartender , and whoever else was involved.. but you hurt YOUR money too because if HE wont come back .. it means his friends arent either and THEY might have been into you.
4: Bums.. yea.. i said it.. homeless people.. who steal signs.. how come all the homeless people i see are asking for money while holding one of those plastic signs they stole from someone and wrote on the back of... why.. would i give money.. to a thief?!??!
5: Employees not doing their job, youre stealing from the company, who now has to hire more worthless fucks like you to get the job done, who then has to make the price reflect your lazy ass.. which in turn.. steals from me. Right.. you .. mr cart pusher at Sweet Bay.. youre a criminal.. you have stolen from every customer who has ever been there to purchase groceries.
Im sure you have 100 examples of your own, so im not gonna drag this one out.. all im trying to say is that the person who made the news for hunting down and beating the shit out of the guy who left his daughter on the side of the road for not putting out on prom night.. will NEVER effect your life.. Casey Anthony will never baby sit your child.. but those 85 worthless ass city employees who they hired to do a 32 person job.. .has had their hand in your pocket quietly stealing from you every day for the last 30 years.. the parking attendant who doesnt attend shit but the cash box, while you are responsible to repair the damage that happened right in front of him, the lazy waitress who you had to beg for your 3rd and final sweet tea when you could have finished 5 just because she had better shit to do than her job... the 500 person staff at the local McDonalds driving the price of a 2 person lunch at micky d's to Twenty Bucks..
Those people DO effect you.. daily.. those people are criminals.. this complacency.. this society of not slapping someones hand until its finally too late is disgusting.
Stop worrying about the ONE person who got robbed at ybor last night by the guy who was desperate enough to man the fuck up and take it.. lets worry about the 2 managers 2 cashiers and 3 techs at Tire Kingdom handling 6 cars a day.. and the fact that everyone who goes there gets robbed by the rising cost of laziness.
We are focusing on celebrity theft but no one cares that cable is $300 a month ?!?! Who the fuck cares that an escalade got stolen in Hyde park last night.. EVERYONE WHO PAYS FOR INSURANCE in AMERICA got robbed last night!!!!
This is just gonna turn into a rant so im gonna stop.. but fuck people.. maybe if we stop letting the cart jockey at Walmart steal from us EVERY DAY then they WONT think its ok to rob us in person on occasion.
Friday, September 2, 2011
This.. is part of why my views on abortion will never change.
"Naw boo u do miss Tampa kuz i knw i do! Um so readii 2 kum bak home nah but i dun got knokd up n daytona but umma go bak home pretty soon!"
People really talk like this? And shes prego??!!?!? Anyone wanna ask me again why im pro-choice?!
People really talk like this? And shes prego??!!?!? Anyone wanna ask me again why im pro-choice?!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Its all in a handshake.
Well the title says it all.. a handshake.. it says so much about a person, im gonna skip all the good stuff this time and tell you exactly where im going with this..
If a man feels compelled to squeeze your hand like a mongoloid neanderthal, he has nothing more to offer you than the strength he just asserted.. and if he squeezes a womans hand like that?
Hes not worth the sperm his father wasted on creating him.
Really, what does it prove to yourself of others when you grip with vice like fury? That your lack of social etiquette has left you alone on so many nights that your right forearm has the strength of 10 average men with personalities and sex lives?
When a man grips my hand like hes trying to crush a soft fruit, all i can think of is the fruit he is acting like. Are you trying to (fail) assert some alpha male dominance? Are you trying to let me know your stronger and more powerful than me and therefore more of a man than me?
Im a woman... im not your competition for alpha male dominance.. although in the jungle the biggest competition is for the best mates.. so maybe my previous comment was a correct assumption and youre just letting me know that im not match for you... and all the hot guys i might be after are all yours for the taking.
And if thats it.. you can have them.. im not going to arm wrestle a man over the man he wants..
Im gonna get a little more personal and tell you the event that provoked this blog.
But first a little side track.. ONCE AGAIN.. you garbage ass minimum wage, no w-2 having ass , get your ass whipped in a real fight ass SECURITY GUARDS need to know your fucking role, you might beat off to UFC videos and get turned on by sweaty dudes in underwear grabbing each other.. but that does NOT make you a tough guy, if you were youd be in a ring paying taxes on your earnings.. not working at walmart during the day and supplementing it with your low powered ego trip of a job title.. there are some really cool, really nice guys who work security and im obviously not talking about you.. but the other 90% of you.. are a fucking joke.. and if youre a security MANAGER.. youre a joke.. telling a joke.. and if youre a security guard ACTING like a manager.. youre a fake ass joke.. telling a joke.. and its.. well.. you win.. you.. really are funny.
So this midget ass 5'7 ish security guard started at this club i work at occasionally, the first time we met he did the typical napoleon complex handshake where he nearly got on his tippy toes to eek out that 5'9 he might just pull off.. pushed his shoulder in.. hip forward and gripped my hand like it was his roomates penis, and then proceeded to squeeze and shake it just the same..
REALLY?!? Is all i can think.. i called him the first name that came to mind , laughed at his pathetic and ignorant attempt to assert himself and went on with my night.
The next night he walks up to me and shoves his phone in my face and demands my phone number.. i asked him what the fuck for and he let me know he was managing on some nights and was supposed to get a roster and the girls numbers. I asked who taught him manners and told him not to treat a lady like that.. and again.. walked off and avoided this joke for the rest of the night..
Which leads to tonight.. his first night as manager.. his night to exercise the limited amount of power he had .. his night to shine as an example to diminutive men everywhere..
I walked up and asked for a drink , since management usually takes care of a couple rounds for me when i work on slow/dead nights. To which he responded that i was trying to be "gangsta" and "run all over him". This was the first time he and i had shared more words than his original ignorant introductions so im not sure how i was ever giving the opportunity to run all over him, but here i was being called names and being accused of things.
At this point i still know my place as an employee and was being as polite and cordial as possible and i told him i would just text the manager (real manager but i didnt say that) and ask him for some comps since he wasnt familiar with the routine, had he have said no i would have just bought my own, but like i said a few drinks comped on nights like this for me is not uncommon.
HE got PISSED, said i needed to respect him and not try going around him , said he wasnt going to let me run shit.
When i came back to get a drink , he was standing there and asked me, "What kind of relationship do we have?" I said , None! This is a job.. we dont have a relationship! At which point he took his knee and slammed it into my freshly tattooed knee.. then proceeded to tell me how tattoos dont hurt and to "stop whining" and his tattoo artist said "knee tattoos dont hurt"
Something neither him or his tattoo artist have by the way.
Then tells me when i get my other knee done hes gonna hit me in that one too.. I told him if he did i wouldnt be responsible for my actions because i was going to just hit him in the face next time he tried to beat on me, ESPECIALLY right after getting tattooed
So what does this man amongst men do then? Tells me i cant knock him out and begins telling me if he hits my knee i better not hit him or HE wont be responsible for what HE does..
I avoided him the rest of the night..
When i asked him if i could leave i said as nicely as i could to this piece of trash "Can i go home now, its kinda dead?" And the icing on the cake to the night was his "Yea.. fucking YEA!" response..
The sad part about all this... is this whole story could be wrapped up in a handshake.. i feel like he properly communicated how much of a douche bag he was and his inability to do well in a social environment , and treat women with respect.. the first time he shook my hand.
If a man feels compelled to squeeze your hand like a mongoloid neanderthal, he has nothing more to offer you than the strength he just asserted.. and if he squeezes a womans hand like that?
Hes not worth the sperm his father wasted on creating him.
Really, what does it prove to yourself of others when you grip with vice like fury? That your lack of social etiquette has left you alone on so many nights that your right forearm has the strength of 10 average men with personalities and sex lives?
When a man grips my hand like hes trying to crush a soft fruit, all i can think of is the fruit he is acting like. Are you trying to (fail) assert some alpha male dominance? Are you trying to let me know your stronger and more powerful than me and therefore more of a man than me?
Im a woman... im not your competition for alpha male dominance.. although in the jungle the biggest competition is for the best mates.. so maybe my previous comment was a correct assumption and youre just letting me know that im not match for you... and all the hot guys i might be after are all yours for the taking.
And if thats it.. you can have them.. im not going to arm wrestle a man over the man he wants..
Im gonna get a little more personal and tell you the event that provoked this blog.
But first a little side track.. ONCE AGAIN.. you garbage ass minimum wage, no w-2 having ass , get your ass whipped in a real fight ass SECURITY GUARDS need to know your fucking role, you might beat off to UFC videos and get turned on by sweaty dudes in underwear grabbing each other.. but that does NOT make you a tough guy, if you were youd be in a ring paying taxes on your earnings.. not working at walmart during the day and supplementing it with your low powered ego trip of a job title.. there are some really cool, really nice guys who work security and im obviously not talking about you.. but the other 90% of you.. are a fucking joke.. and if youre a security MANAGER.. youre a joke.. telling a joke.. and if youre a security guard ACTING like a manager.. youre a fake ass joke.. telling a joke.. and its.. well.. you win.. you.. really are funny.
So this midget ass 5'7 ish security guard started at this club i work at occasionally, the first time we met he did the typical napoleon complex handshake where he nearly got on his tippy toes to eek out that 5'9 he might just pull off.. pushed his shoulder in.. hip forward and gripped my hand like it was his roomates penis, and then proceeded to squeeze and shake it just the same..
REALLY?!? Is all i can think.. i called him the first name that came to mind , laughed at his pathetic and ignorant attempt to assert himself and went on with my night.
The next night he walks up to me and shoves his phone in my face and demands my phone number.. i asked him what the fuck for and he let me know he was managing on some nights and was supposed to get a roster and the girls numbers. I asked who taught him manners and told him not to treat a lady like that.. and again.. walked off and avoided this joke for the rest of the night..
Which leads to tonight.. his first night as manager.. his night to exercise the limited amount of power he had .. his night to shine as an example to diminutive men everywhere..
I walked up and asked for a drink , since management usually takes care of a couple rounds for me when i work on slow/dead nights. To which he responded that i was trying to be "gangsta" and "run all over him". This was the first time he and i had shared more words than his original ignorant introductions so im not sure how i was ever giving the opportunity to run all over him, but here i was being called names and being accused of things.
At this point i still know my place as an employee and was being as polite and cordial as possible and i told him i would just text the manager (real manager but i didnt say that) and ask him for some comps since he wasnt familiar with the routine, had he have said no i would have just bought my own, but like i said a few drinks comped on nights like this for me is not uncommon.
HE got PISSED, said i needed to respect him and not try going around him , said he wasnt going to let me run shit.
When i came back to get a drink , he was standing there and asked me, "What kind of relationship do we have?" I said , None! This is a job.. we dont have a relationship! At which point he took his knee and slammed it into my freshly tattooed knee.. then proceeded to tell me how tattoos dont hurt and to "stop whining" and his tattoo artist said "knee tattoos dont hurt"
Something neither him or his tattoo artist have by the way.
Then tells me when i get my other knee done hes gonna hit me in that one too.. I told him if he did i wouldnt be responsible for my actions because i was going to just hit him in the face next time he tried to beat on me, ESPECIALLY right after getting tattooed
So what does this man amongst men do then? Tells me i cant knock him out and begins telling me if he hits my knee i better not hit him or HE wont be responsible for what HE does..
I avoided him the rest of the night..
When i asked him if i could leave i said as nicely as i could to this piece of trash "Can i go home now, its kinda dead?" And the icing on the cake to the night was his "Yea.. fucking YEA!" response..
The sad part about all this... is this whole story could be wrapped up in a handshake.. i feel like he properly communicated how much of a douche bag he was and his inability to do well in a social environment , and treat women with respect.. the first time he shook my hand.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
How to ruin a great night at a nice Venue, just add shit personal, and douche repeatedly.
Im gonna give the good first.. because i will be the last to say last night wasnt one of the most fun nights i have had in tampa. PERIOD.
We went to The Venue , which is deceptively large inside, despite its myriad of odd walls and passageways dividing the building into a sort of common room surrounded by pod like areas of over looks, and vip like sections. The club was beautiful, the light show was very nice for a resident lighting system, and the music system was great, not too loud in some areas and barely hear able in others like some venues.. im not going to say the building itself has opera like acoustics.. but for what it is.. the sound was great, AND they have a nice, working, a/c system, which for us is always a really nice plus.
The event last night was Drummer vs Dj .. a battle of analog vs digital via Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' drummer Jon Wilkes beating a live cadence to Dj Capones mystery selection of mixes and cuts. Its definitely a sight to see, and if you like any of the Travis Barker rock remixes on youtube, then seeing it live is a 1000% times better... as if the concept alone isnt cool enough to hold your attention.. having a well known rockstar drummer battling a Dj who is just this side of a DMC PHENOM sold the concept into a solid solid show. Visually a 10, and it left you wanting a cd of the event.
The promoter dropped the ball on the original show which as supposed to be an afterparty for Warped Tour , which was hideously un promoted , but the group offered to stay and extra night to make it right and, the club graciously picked up the ball where the promoter dropped it and made things right with the DJ/Drummer combo. Which gives me alot of respect for whoever pulled the trigger on getting them back last night. Thank you Venue for an awesome experience.
Now.. the bad.. and as GOOD as the GOOD was.. the bad was as BAD.
It started at valet, last time we came to the Venue a pair of sunglasses was stolen from our unlocked car, a quick google search will point out that this isnt the first time this has happened, and most likely not the last, so we made sure we put all our valuables in the trunk before showing up,in case valet left it casually unlocked a second time. Those who know ANYTHING about me have seen my car and know that its a site to behold and usually parked at the front door of anywhere we go, its a fair trade, its and attention getter for them.. and i get quality parking. Well here is our first $7.00 an hour superstar we ran into, we pulled up to valet and the guy tells us its $5, not a problem but we retort that last time our car was left unlocked and we would like it parked up front, we say , ill give you $10 this time, but you need to put it where you can see it, hand him about $13 since there was a bunch of ones on us, he agrees.. points to an empty spot behind him and says ill park it in the second row, and he takes off in the car.
Cut to when we pick it up.. its 15 cars down from the front of the club and on the 5th? row i believe.. HARDLY parked up front. But at least this time it was locked and in good condition and nothing was missing.. so .. i guess we will call this one a draw. But i digress because we dont know this yet.
The next issue we see quickly, is that we were told by the person we called , and the website, that the club has a "casual chic" dress code.. no hats, tees, tanks, tennis shoes, shorts, or holey pants...
Not a problem.. but 2 of the people with us are on tour and living out of their wardrobe so sneakers were their only option..although we figured in new True Religions and Burberry tops we could pass for compliant. Once we showed up and made our way to the door, the flash of chrome and plastic baubles affixed to the trendiest (in the 90s) tshirts miami thrift stores has to offer , assaulted our senses. Here we are being told there is a dress code, but Johnny Nobody is here in his Fashion by ROSS affliction shirt and some dirty, uhh.. i mean "classic" nikes.
Hardly the avante garde we were led to believe.. There is nothing wrong with a tshirt and sneakers club, just dont pretend like you are something else and let the people who follow rules show up over dressed , while the people in the spandex unitards and balet flats or the black guy in ankle shorts who has been on the dance floor in a tank top all night do whatever the hell they wanna do.
So then this is the part that really seems to be a Tampa issue in general, and im going to cut off for a second to tell you this, SECURITY, its illegal for you to do ANYTHING out of your job title, when you act in a form of overt aggression or you do something that proceeds in a damaging way. Youre not doing your job, youre outside of your realm of responsibilities and youre just another asshole in the club. When you grab somebody from behind in a form of aggression, thats not being a security guard, thats being an asshole, and i know at LEAST one "employee" last night , who if it were not for respect for the club itself and its amazing managerial staff, was about to get fucked up in that dark ass room you were in.
Putting on a black shirt and collecting a menial paycheck does not make you a superhero, and you might go home and beat off to Roadhouse, but when you grab the wrong guy, the wrong way and he ruins any chance you have of a career that involves walking long distances, standing for extended periods of time , or speaking without a lisp... youll know.. i promise.
I saw personally one security guard tell someone they could use a restroom , and upon touching the door was told by another security guard right next to him that he needed to "get the fuck out of here" While shining a flashlight in his eyes like he was some drug interdiction officer on COPS, even the room we were in , was flushed out by a team of security personnel, shining flashlights and moving in a manner as to flush us out like a pack of roaches. There are 2 or 3 more issues i seen with this facet of the staff but to point them all out one by one would only infuriate me and make me want to go and get names.
So after security flushes us out of our private section at 2:30am , its our first time here.. and the lights were still off, so if this is normal, then fine, but we were given no warning aside from the , too fat to be a trainer, too soft to be a fighter, too short to play sports, too ignorant to get a real job mirepoix of black shirted morons thinking they were S.W.A.T. shining led torches in our faces.
I wanna be clear here.. NO ONE said anything to us, one minute we were partying, the next minute we had flashlights in our eyes and were being told "MOVE". Same as when Dj Capone was standing on the booth trying to give a girl a shot, and a security guard yelled "hey" and when he didnt turn around SNATCHED him by his shirt down off of it. Granted, maybe he shouldnt have been standing there, but shouldnt job one to be to tap him first? Not snatch him a down? Youre NOT a tough guy.. i promise.. but you ALMOST met one last night.. YOU should be thankful for felony probation because it stopped a very sober very capable person from teaching you a lifetime of manners.
So now the lights are on.. i want to ask if i can have one more drink.. its 2:44 at this time, i ask the bartender.. and this.. is as close as i can get to an accurate word for word quote
Me "What time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time... is... last call?"
Him "No"
Me "Ok well so i know.. what time is last call"
Him (while counting his tips) "I said NO"
Me "So... i cant have a drink fine.. what time is last call"
Him "2:45"
Me "What time is is now?"
Him"2:44 but i just closed me drawer"
So yea.. the show AWESOME, the managment? The venue itself? Music , sounds lights?!?! ALL AMAZING . But i will never be back, because nothing ruins a perfect spot like a shitty staff.. and The Venue.. seems to have a nice solid collection.
We went to The Venue , which is deceptively large inside, despite its myriad of odd walls and passageways dividing the building into a sort of common room surrounded by pod like areas of over looks, and vip like sections. The club was beautiful, the light show was very nice for a resident lighting system, and the music system was great, not too loud in some areas and barely hear able in others like some venues.. im not going to say the building itself has opera like acoustics.. but for what it is.. the sound was great, AND they have a nice, working, a/c system, which for us is always a really nice plus.
The event last night was Drummer vs Dj .. a battle of analog vs digital via Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' drummer Jon Wilkes beating a live cadence to Dj Capones mystery selection of mixes and cuts. Its definitely a sight to see, and if you like any of the Travis Barker rock remixes on youtube, then seeing it live is a 1000% times better... as if the concept alone isnt cool enough to hold your attention.. having a well known rockstar drummer battling a Dj who is just this side of a DMC PHENOM sold the concept into a solid solid show. Visually a 10, and it left you wanting a cd of the event.
The promoter dropped the ball on the original show which as supposed to be an afterparty for Warped Tour , which was hideously un promoted , but the group offered to stay and extra night to make it right and, the club graciously picked up the ball where the promoter dropped it and made things right with the DJ/Drummer combo. Which gives me alot of respect for whoever pulled the trigger on getting them back last night. Thank you Venue for an awesome experience.
Now.. the bad.. and as GOOD as the GOOD was.. the bad was as BAD.
It started at valet, last time we came to the Venue a pair of sunglasses was stolen from our unlocked car, a quick google search will point out that this isnt the first time this has happened, and most likely not the last, so we made sure we put all our valuables in the trunk before showing up,in case valet left it casually unlocked a second time. Those who know ANYTHING about me have seen my car and know that its a site to behold and usually parked at the front door of anywhere we go, its a fair trade, its and attention getter for them.. and i get quality parking. Well here is our first $7.00 an hour superstar we ran into, we pulled up to valet and the guy tells us its $5, not a problem but we retort that last time our car was left unlocked and we would like it parked up front, we say , ill give you $10 this time, but you need to put it where you can see it, hand him about $13 since there was a bunch of ones on us, he agrees.. points to an empty spot behind him and says ill park it in the second row, and he takes off in the car.
Cut to when we pick it up.. its 15 cars down from the front of the club and on the 5th? row i believe.. HARDLY parked up front. But at least this time it was locked and in good condition and nothing was missing.. so .. i guess we will call this one a draw. But i digress because we dont know this yet.
The next issue we see quickly, is that we were told by the person we called , and the website, that the club has a "casual chic" dress code.. no hats, tees, tanks, tennis shoes, shorts, or holey pants...
Not a problem.. but 2 of the people with us are on tour and living out of their wardrobe so sneakers were their only option..although we figured in new True Religions and Burberry tops we could pass for compliant. Once we showed up and made our way to the door, the flash of chrome and plastic baubles affixed to the trendiest (in the 90s) tshirts miami thrift stores has to offer , assaulted our senses. Here we are being told there is a dress code, but Johnny Nobody is here in his Fashion by ROSS affliction shirt and some dirty, uhh.. i mean "classic" nikes.
Hardly the avante garde we were led to believe.. There is nothing wrong with a tshirt and sneakers club, just dont pretend like you are something else and let the people who follow rules show up over dressed , while the people in the spandex unitards and balet flats or the black guy in ankle shorts who has been on the dance floor in a tank top all night do whatever the hell they wanna do.
So then this is the part that really seems to be a Tampa issue in general, and im going to cut off for a second to tell you this, SECURITY, its illegal for you to do ANYTHING out of your job title, when you act in a form of overt aggression or you do something that proceeds in a damaging way. Youre not doing your job, youre outside of your realm of responsibilities and youre just another asshole in the club. When you grab somebody from behind in a form of aggression, thats not being a security guard, thats being an asshole, and i know at LEAST one "employee" last night , who if it were not for respect for the club itself and its amazing managerial staff, was about to get fucked up in that dark ass room you were in.
Putting on a black shirt and collecting a menial paycheck does not make you a superhero, and you might go home and beat off to Roadhouse, but when you grab the wrong guy, the wrong way and he ruins any chance you have of a career that involves walking long distances, standing for extended periods of time , or speaking without a lisp... youll know.. i promise.
I saw personally one security guard tell someone they could use a restroom , and upon touching the door was told by another security guard right next to him that he needed to "get the fuck out of here" While shining a flashlight in his eyes like he was some drug interdiction officer on COPS, even the room we were in , was flushed out by a team of security personnel, shining flashlights and moving in a manner as to flush us out like a pack of roaches. There are 2 or 3 more issues i seen with this facet of the staff but to point them all out one by one would only infuriate me and make me want to go and get names.
So after security flushes us out of our private section at 2:30am , its our first time here.. and the lights were still off, so if this is normal, then fine, but we were given no warning aside from the , too fat to be a trainer, too soft to be a fighter, too short to play sports, too ignorant to get a real job mirepoix of black shirted morons thinking they were S.W.A.T. shining led torches in our faces.
I wanna be clear here.. NO ONE said anything to us, one minute we were partying, the next minute we had flashlights in our eyes and were being told "MOVE". Same as when Dj Capone was standing on the booth trying to give a girl a shot, and a security guard yelled "hey" and when he didnt turn around SNATCHED him by his shirt down off of it. Granted, maybe he shouldnt have been standing there, but shouldnt job one to be to tap him first? Not snatch him a down? Youre NOT a tough guy.. i promise.. but you ALMOST met one last night.. YOU should be thankful for felony probation because it stopped a very sober very capable person from teaching you a lifetime of manners.
So now the lights are on.. i want to ask if i can have one more drink.. its 2:44 at this time, i ask the bartender.. and this.. is as close as i can get to an accurate word for word quote
Me "What time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time is last call?"
Him "No"
Me "What.... time... is... last call?"
Him "No"
Me "Ok well so i know.. what time is last call"
Him (while counting his tips) "I said NO"
Me "So... i cant have a drink fine.. what time is last call"
Him "2:45"
Me "What time is is now?"
Him"2:44 but i just closed me drawer"
So yea.. the show AWESOME, the managment? The venue itself? Music , sounds lights?!?! ALL AMAZING . But i will never be back, because nothing ruins a perfect spot like a shitty staff.. and The Venue.. seems to have a nice solid collection.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Pastry ass Backlava , Phyllo sheet wrapped ass Croissant ass Bitches!!
... So im gonna jump right in here.. you can catch up as we go.. but.. i GUESS im a rarity...
Who knew?!?!
Im one of those people who counts checks before theyre cashed. Im one of those people who actually gives a shit about peoples time and efforts and good graces.
Weird huh?
Im one of those girls who shows up 10 minutes early and READY to work.. not 5 minutes late and looking for a place to GET ready, im one of those people who calls you when i get caught by one too many redlights , just to let you know im gonna be pulling in a few seconds late.
BUT.. it gets better.. my schedule is IN FUCKING SANE.. and occasionally shit happens.. but this is easily solved by a basic hierarchical system.. IF I MADE PLANS WITH YOU ON WEDNESDAY THEN YOU.. my friend.. ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE PLANS I MAKE ON FRIDAY..
I thought this shit was pretty simple.. If you and me make plans to go to the beach.. and the night before .. i confirm with you.. then morning of.. you tell me youre getting ready after I call.. .
Then after waiting 2 hours .. i call again.. .to find out you made totally different plans.. and didnt have the fucking respect not to tell anyone.. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.. not me.
I might have told someone i dont wanna go drink dom and eat caviar on a yacht off the coast of paradise key.. because I PROMISED A BEACH DAY WITH YOU!!!.. Why the fuck dont i deserve to pick option :B: the OBVIOUS BETTER OPTION.. just because YOU cant call someone and cancel appropriately..
And work.. wow.. work.. you would think that professionalism would at least exist there.. but NO
And yes .. this is about YOU..but YOU dont call YOU out and neither will i..
I had a shoot booked.. a week ago.. then the date or time was moved.. over.. and over.. and over.. and over.. till tonight.. im supposed to shoot with someone at 6:45pm
I WAS going to do a much larger and higher paying shoot at 10am. be done by noon and go to warped tour after.. but .. because of this shoot.. i moved the larger one to 4-6 cancelled on warped tour and prepared to work with you..
Then.. after MY day has been altered to shit.. and YOU have changed cast call over and over again.. and I passed up passes to stand on stage at Drummer vs Dj at warped tour with the drummer of red jumpsuit ( my buddy john) i get a call at damn near FOUR OCLOCK lettting me know.. that your shit is cancelled. .but "Dont worry about it.. we all have to make adjustments"
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Seriously.. what the fuck happened to respect? WTF happened to YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND?
Fuck all that..
What happened to common decency?
Is it really dead? Do we really live in an age where.. "Ill see you monday at 10" Means.. "make plans for me.. but reality.. fuck you ill get there when i please"?!?
This isnt the most eloquent thing ive written in my live im sure.. but spell correct keeps screaming at me because im shaking im so pissed..
Im walking out the door to go to work now.. I WILL be on time.. more than likely early.. and ready to work.
Fuck anyone who doesnt get that.
Britt
Who knew?!?!
Im one of those people who counts checks before theyre cashed. Im one of those people who actually gives a shit about peoples time and efforts and good graces.
Weird huh?
Im one of those girls who shows up 10 minutes early and READY to work.. not 5 minutes late and looking for a place to GET ready, im one of those people who calls you when i get caught by one too many redlights , just to let you know im gonna be pulling in a few seconds late.
BUT.. it gets better.. my schedule is IN FUCKING SANE.. and occasionally shit happens.. but this is easily solved by a basic hierarchical system.. IF I MADE PLANS WITH YOU ON WEDNESDAY THEN YOU.. my friend.. ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE PLANS I MAKE ON FRIDAY..
I thought this shit was pretty simple.. If you and me make plans to go to the beach.. and the night before .. i confirm with you.. then morning of.. you tell me youre getting ready after I call.. .
Then after waiting 2 hours .. i call again.. .to find out you made totally different plans.. and didnt have the fucking respect not to tell anyone.. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.. not me.
I might have told someone i dont wanna go drink dom and eat caviar on a yacht off the coast of paradise key.. because I PROMISED A BEACH DAY WITH YOU!!!.. Why the fuck dont i deserve to pick option :B: the OBVIOUS BETTER OPTION.. just because YOU cant call someone and cancel appropriately..
And work.. wow.. work.. you would think that professionalism would at least exist there.. but NO
And yes .. this is about YOU..but YOU dont call YOU out and neither will i..
I had a shoot booked.. a week ago.. then the date or time was moved.. over.. and over.. and over.. and over.. till tonight.. im supposed to shoot with someone at 6:45pm
I WAS going to do a much larger and higher paying shoot at 10am. be done by noon and go to warped tour after.. but .. because of this shoot.. i moved the larger one to 4-6 cancelled on warped tour and prepared to work with you..
Then.. after MY day has been altered to shit.. and YOU have changed cast call over and over again.. and I passed up passes to stand on stage at Drummer vs Dj at warped tour with the drummer of red jumpsuit ( my buddy john) i get a call at damn near FOUR OCLOCK lettting me know.. that your shit is cancelled. .but "Dont worry about it.. we all have to make adjustments"
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Seriously.. what the fuck happened to respect? WTF happened to YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND?
Fuck all that..
What happened to common decency?
Is it really dead? Do we really live in an age where.. "Ill see you monday at 10" Means.. "make plans for me.. but reality.. fuck you ill get there when i please"?!?
This isnt the most eloquent thing ive written in my live im sure.. but spell correct keeps screaming at me because im shaking im so pissed..
Im walking out the door to go to work now.. I WILL be on time.. more than likely early.. and ready to work.
Fuck anyone who doesnt get that.
Britt
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